


Samui

by yerwhumpwriter



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, But they be cryin' first, Car Accidents, Eventual Fluff, Haikyuu Whumptober, Hospitals, Hypothermia, I believe Suna is canonically a nice person, M/M, Miya Osamu Needs a Hug, Miya Twins Lovin'
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:27:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28592496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yerwhumpwriter/pseuds/yerwhumpwriter
Summary: Miya Atsumu does not know life without Miya Osamu in it.Nor will he ever want to.Not that he ever could.That's just how it is.Miya Osamu wished he knew life without Miya Atsumu in it. But he was given Miya Atsumu, and he loves him to his core despite everything. Despite his wishful thinking of being an only child, or having a different sibling.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou, background Bokuaka, background kagehina
Comments: 44
Kudos: 229





	1. Atsui

**Author's Note:**

> Aight, I'm back again with another angst filled medical terminologies that literally no one asked for. Lol. But do enjoy. It's not that heavy in medical shenanigans, I SWEAR!!!
> 
> Also, Imma fix the tags later since I'm using my phone to upload this.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 暑い (atsui) - hot. 
> 
> The opposite of cold is hot. The absence of cold is heat.

Miya Atsumu does not know life without Miya Osamu in it.

Nor will he ever want to.

Not that he ever could.

That's just how it is.  
______  
Atsumu sits on one of the tables in Onigiri Miya main branch, his boyfriend, Sakusa Kiyoomi, sits beside him. Bokuto Koutaro, and his fiance, Akaashi Keiji; Hinata Shouyo, and his boyfriend, Kageyama Tobio are also seated at the same table.

" 'Samu, stop makin' us wait!" demands Atsumu. "We came here at 9 in the fuckin' evenin' so we don't gotta wait!"

The games season is finally over, and they finally have a week of rest before going back to training. The twins agreed to spend time with each other, so they set a "hometown vacation" for the week over the phone. Unfortunately, Bokuto overheard the phone conversation at the dorms, so he decided that they, meaning those who aren't "twins" in the Onigiri Miya tonight, should come. 

And that's how they landed in this situation. 

"Shut the fuck up 'Tsumu! Yer not even s'posed to be a guest here!" Osamu shouts back from the kitchen. "Ya were supposed ta come tomorrow!" 

Atsumu growls. "Hah?! We agreed that I come Friday night!" he shouts back.

"And it's only Thursday today!" Osamu snaps back. 

"What do ya mean it's Thursday?! It's definitely Friday, January 8!" Atsumu responds, still shouting. 

It really is a good thing that the restaurant closed earlier than scheduled because it would be really bad for Atsumu's image if someone catches this scene on camera. 

"Atsumu-san, it's only January 7 today." Akaashi respectfully points out.

"No way!" Bokuto exclaims. "Is it Friday today?!" he asks in panic. "Does Myaa-sam have a TV around?! I need to see the new episode of my favorite drama!"

"No, it's only Thursday today, Koutaro." Akaashi says calmly. Sakusa visibly cringes as he witnesses one of the worst conversations he's ever heard from the crowd. 

"Why don' you make yerself useful and go ge' me some nori?!" Osamu shouts again after a while.

"WHY--"

"Why don't you go to the kitchen so you can stop shouting?" Sakusa finally says, his voice raised so he could be heard. He glares at the faux blonde.

Atsumu gasps, looking offended. He was about to protest when Osamu called for him again. Shaking his head in defeat, he stands up and strides towards the restaurant's kitchen. 

"Finally, some peace." He hears Hinata sigh as he walks away from the table

"Why don' ya just make Sunarin buy it?!" he says as soon as he closes in the kitchen, still too loud despite the closed distance between him and his brother. 

That earned him a smack in the head from Osamu. "Will ya shut yer mouth fer a damn second?!"

If Osamu hadn't been holding a heated tongs while deep frying tempura, he would've smacked his brother back. But there's nothing he's more afraid of than boiling cooking oil. 

"Rin's stuck in the subway because of the fuckin' snow. He'll be a ton late." Osamu replied more calmly this time, taking the deep fried tempura off of the frier.  
  
"Fetch some nori wrappers from the store, will ya?"

"What kind of onigiri restaurant runs out of nori?!" Atsumu complained. 

"Idiot. I was s'posed to do the groceries tomorrow. Didn' expect I'll run out today though." Osamu shrugged.

"What'll I get in return?" Atsumu asked.

"A very delicious onigiri, duh?" Osamu replied flatly. 

"Nah, I don' want tha'." 

"Then wha' d'ya want?!" Osamu asked irritatedly.

"I get ta be yer best man."

Osamu stopped dipping a new batch of tempura to the frier. 

"What?" he asked dumbfoundedly.

"I get ta be yer best man, I said." Atsumu said with a smirk.

"I haven't even proposed ta Rin yet." Osamu looked with a confused face. 

"I know." Atsumu leaned on the counter top. "I just got this feelin' ya would...soon." he said. 

"I don' want ta." Osamu said, as he continued dipping the new batch of tempura to the frier. 

"Hah?!" Atsumu growled. "What d'ya mean?! Ya have no plans of marryin' Sunarin?!" 

"Not tha' idiot." Osamu said flatly, not looking towards Atsumu. "I mean, I ain't givin' ya the best man spot jus' b'cause ya got me some nori wrappers." Now, he faced Atsumu with a grin. 

Atsumu looked offended, which turned to anger, which turned to a smirk. "I know yer kiddin'." he said, as he pushed himself from the counter top.

"Whatever makes ya happy, brother." Osamu replied chuckling. "Ya'll still get me the nori anyways."

"And what makes ya think tha'?" Atsumu asked irritatedly. 

"Cause yer a good brother," Osamu looked at him, puppy eyed. "And ya love me."

Atsumu fake gagged. "I might puke." He let out a very long groan, rolled his eyes, then dragged himself over their table and fetched his car keys. 

"Where are you going?" Sakusa asked, his gaze following Atsumu's hand with the keys.

"I hafta go ta the grocery store ta fetch something."

"In this weather?"

"Yeah...?" Atsumu looked confused. Sakusa stared at him for a while. 

"Don't worry Omi, I'll be back!" he said with a chuckle. "I drive safely."

"I'm not worried." Sakusa denied. Atsumu can see his cheeks blushing through the mask. "Just..." Sakusa hesitated. "Just wear something warm. Wear a scarf and gloves." 

"Aww, yer so sweet Omi!" Atsumu said playfully. " 'Course I will." he fetched his scarf that was draped on his chair earlier, then took his gloves out of his pocket. He pocketed his car keys then started to walk towards the door.

"Drive safely, Tsum-tsum! Wear your seatbelt!" he heard Bokuto say before exiting the door.

Outside, the wind was strong, and the snowfall was angry. He shivered as he jogged to his car parked outside. He quickly entered the car and turned it on so he could get some heat. 

"Damned January!" he complained, before driving off to the store. 

Atsumu takes pride with his driving. He and Osamu went to driving school at the same time but he was able to get his license a month before Osamu did. Osamu claims he cheated and that he threatened the actual driving examiner so he could pass. They had a whole fight about it, but the truth is, he really wanted to learn how to drive more than Osamu did. 

_"I mean, why learn this early when we don' even have our own cars yet." Osamu said when they were 18, after Atsumu received his license._

_"We can always sneak mom and dad's car out, duh." Atsumu said with as a matter of factly tone._

_"That's dangerous 'Tsumu!" Osamu exclaimed. Atsumu looked surprised, then his face turned to what looked like he felt touched. "Aww, 'Samu, are ya worried I'd get into an accident?"_

_"Well, yeah!" the other twin responded. Atsumu was about to give a witty response but Osamu beat him to it. "What if the car breaks when you get into one? We won't be able to have family road trips if that happens!"_

_Now, Atsumu looked mad. "Yer not worried that I could die?!"_

_"No." Osamu responded flatly._

_"Yer more worried about the car?!"_

_"Yes!"_

_"Ya sonuva--" Atsumu aimed to smack his brother._

_"That's our mom yer callin' **t** **hat**." Osamu warned. Atsumu struggled to think of a different curse, "YA--ya-- YA SCRUB!" he finally said, then proceeded to give his brother a smack on the head. Osamu fought back and then they went on to give each toher smacks._

_When they finally calmed down, Osamu said in a serious tone, "No, seriously Tsumu, don' go doin' tha'."_

_"Doin' what?" Atsumu grunted._

_"Don' sneak the car out. Or at least tell me when ya do, and where yer goin'. I don' wanna hear that ya were found dead on a ditch somewhere." Osamu responded._

_"Actually, I just don' wanna hear ya were hurt, is all." he continued._

_Atsumu looked at his brother, who was looking far ahead, and smiled. He softly punched Osamu on the shoulder._

_"Ya can count on me on tha'."_

So yeah, Atsumu is proud of his driving. He never had a record, nor was he ticketed for violations and stuff like that. He makes sure he watches the speed limit, never run the red light, and never take a phone call while driving. 

He doesn't want to break his promise with Osamu. 

Tonight, it was extra harder for him to drive. 

The wiper helped with the snow, but everything was foggy. He couldn't see the road clearly.

"I guess Omi was reasonable to question me." he thought out loud.

He stopped in front of a school and turned on his hazard so other cars would see his. There weren't a lot of cars and people outside that night, but just to be sure. 

He reached out for his phone, decided to call Osamu.

Of course, there would be no signal. 

"Ugh, fuck " he whispered. He looked out ahead of where he stopped. He could see the big grocery store logo. He shrugged and decided to go on his errand. It won't take long and it wasn't that far as he thought. He could just turn around and he will be back in an instant.

Right?

He u-turned from the spot he stopped and drove towards the store. He had to cross a bridge going to the store. 

He had never been careless when it comes to driving. Not until now. 

He didn't notice that his speed was increasing because of the snow. So when he didn't see the cat sitting on the road, on the verge of being hit by his car, he forcefully swerved the wheel to his left, his foot stepped strongly on the brakes. Due to the slippery road, the brakes didn't immediately stop the car from skidding further. 

He closed his eyes waiting for the crash to happen. 

And it did. He heard metal crumpling noises, glass shattering. The impact was strong enough to make hiis head hit the driver's seat window. Then he heard the splash of water. 

Everything went still. 

Atsumu became disoriented from when he hit his head. He tried to open his eyes, but the pain stopped him from doing so. 

He started to feel cold, but he's sure he left his heater on. Or maybe the crash broke the heater. 

He'll take care of that tomorrow, but right now, he could use some sleep. 

As he drifted off, he dreamt of something he'd never seen before.

_In the dream, he was in a garden. There were other people, lots of them, that he couldn't name. There was a long red carpet, and there were people walking on the carpet. They're all dressed nicely. He looked down at his own outfit and discovered that he, too, was wearing a tuxedo._

_He looked to his left and saw Osamu, Kita, Aran, and Suna standing in line beside him, eyes on the people walking on the carpet._

_Little girls and boys were now walking the aisle, showering petals on the dark red carpet._

_Suddenly, the music changed. "Sparkle" by Radwimps started playing._

_From the other side of the carpet, he sees the love of his life standing: Sakusa Kiyoomi. Both of his parents stood on his left and right. The three of them started to walk slowly._

_There was a sudden burst of emotion growing in his chest as he watched the one he's loved for 8 years now, walk down that aisle._

_Soon after that, they would say their vows to each other. His will be much funnier. Sakusa's will be much more eloquent._

_Then after that, they will sign some papers._

_After that, they would go home to their own apartment._

_After that, they would go to their honeymoon trip._

_After that, they will build a family of their own._

_But at that moment, he wanted to stay in that place forever: watching the love of his life walk towards him, as if gravity only works for the both of them._

_He wanted to stay in this forever, looking at Sakusa Kiyoomi, walk towards him, and never away from him._

It felt warm. 

It felt so warm...


	2. Samui (Chapter 2, Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 寒い (samui)- cold
> 
> Because the absence of heat is cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still do not know how to ao3 works after roughly 3 years of using it. 🙃
> 
> Also, I wamted to post the 2nd chapter much later in the day but I also thought it's not fair...
> 
> Soooo... welcome to part 1.

Miya Osamu wished he knew life without Miya Atsumu in it.

When he was young, he'd often wonder what his life would be like to be the only child, or maybe have a much older or younger sibling, preferably a sister, than having one annoying 8-minute-older brother named Miya Atsumu.

Osamu liked peace. Maybe not always, but he wants no involvement in any kind of chaos unless it's with his brother.

To him, Atsumu is one big ball of chaos. He does everything that Osamu does differently. Always late, always lying, always borrowing and NEVER giving them back, always the man of the show, always a perfectionist, and sometimes, some people hated him because of it.

Osamu is not one of them. He can never be.

Because despite all these things, he loves Atsumu to his core.

He loves how his brother would remind him that he is the best he will ever have. He loves how his brother would literally travel from whichever part of the country back to their hometown just to get to see him, no matter how late. No matter how quick. He loves how his brother supported him as he made his own restaurant, despite the fights they had about it.

He was given Miya Atsumu, and he loves him despite everything. Despite his wishful thinking of being an only child, or having a different sibling.

________

When Atsumu didn't return after an hour from his trip to the grocery store, Osamu felt worry creep to his skin.

He served some of the onigiris and tempura he had cooked to the table of his guests shortly after Atsumu left. He also served some cans of beer along with them. He sat with the group, as he waited for the nori wrappers that Atsumu went to get.

They started eating and drinking and chatting out loud. At some point, Suna Rintarou arrived at the restaurant.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Bokuto greeted cheerily, alcohol lacing his speech, as Suna entered the restaurant doors.

Suna made a face of annoyance rather than pleasure.

"Suna-san!! You're finally here!" Kageyama out of characteristically greeted. "We actually thought you got buried under the snow or somethin'." Kageyama chuckled. "Imagine if that happened," now he's laughing, "He's a literal 6 foot snowman!" then he laughed so hilariously Suna thought the younger would die due to lack of oxygen. Bokuto laughed with him and even high-fived with him. Sakusa and Akaashi looked unamused. How many cans of beer has he already had?

"Sorry, Suna-san, he's really not good with alcohol." Hinata smiled sheepishly, cheeks blushing probably because of the alcohol and embarrassment.

Osamu stepped out of the kitchen and refilled the empty tempura plate, before walking towards his boyfriend and gave him a kiss.

"How long had they been drinking?" Suna asked, dropping his gym bag. He'd travelled from Hiroshima to Kobe since he was part of the twin agreement.

_"Don' shit with me Sunarin, games season's over. Ya could spare ME some of yer time!" Atsumu told him the group video call._

_"What do ya mean spare YA some time? What 'bout me?!" Osamu interjected._

_"Oh shuddup 'Samu, I know ya've seen each other almost everyday this week since his games were held in Okayama!"_

_"Wrong! We only saw each other four times!" Osamu argued._

_"Not the point!" Atsumu snapped back._

And that's how he found himself screen recording the whole conversation before giving in to Atsumu's request (demand).

"Prob'ly only half an hour." Osamu smirked.

"Wow, they really are not good drinkers." Suna chuckled at the sight.

"What took ya so long?"

"Subway's messed up because of the snow. Nobody expected this much snow tonight, so some of the trips were cancelled. And we had to stop at some stations to let the snow pass." Suna explained.

"Why not take your car?" Osamu asked, making their way to the drunken table.

"Don't wanna risk it. Roads will be slippery especially with this much ice." Suna shrugged. "Better safe than sorry, doncha think?"

Osamu just smiled in agreement. They both sat and joined the group.

"Where's Tsumu?" Suna asked as soon as he sat on the table, only noticing the absence of the other Miya.

"He went out to get nori wrappers. I ran out of it." Osamu explained. Suna just shrugged and took one of the beer cans, joining the loud conversation of the group. Osamu did the same.

Time passed by, the strong wind rattled the windows of Onigiri Miya. Osamu looked out at the door, seeing the strong snowstorm outside through the glass. But more importantly, he has been expecting his brother to barge through them.

Bokuto and Kageyama were already passed out on the table. Suna, Akaashi, Hinata, and Sakusa are busy talking about the recently ended games season. Osamu was distracted by the fact that Atsumu still hasn't come back. It's already been an hour. He checked his phone from time to time but there wasn't any notification from Atsumu.

" 'Samu?" Suna called out to him, snapping his fingers in front of his face. "Hey 'Samuuu" the snapping continued.

Osamu was broken from his trance. "Yeah?" he asked, directing his focus back to his lover.

"Ya okay? Watcha thinkin' 'bout?" Maybe Suna's tipsy already. His Kansai Ben becomes emphasized when he gets drunk.

"Nothin'." Osamu dismissed. Maybe he, too, is already tipsy. There's no reason to be overly worried about his brother not returning after an hour of being gone, without any texts or calls telling him where he is. He might be somewhere waiting for the snowstorm to pass.

There's really nothing to worry about.

"Hey, did Atsumu text you about where he is?" Sakusa asked out of nowhere, amplifying Osamu's anxiety.

Akaashi checked his phone, then Bokuto's. He shook his head.

Hinata did the same, and also shook his head. Suna checked his, "Nah, didn't receive anythin' from 'im." Suna stated.

Osamu tried his best not to panic or have a meltdown. Because that would be silly. Atsumu's okay.

"He's prob'bly stuck somewhere with no signal, waitin' for this storm to pass." Osamu dismissed his own anxiety with a chuckle, then downed the remaining half of his beer can.

Now, the main Onigiri Miya branch is very, very near their family home. The spot is quite far from the main city, thus making it hard for them to go back and forth to grocery stores.

He felt a pang of guilt sending his brother to buy the nori wrappers. He should've waited until tomorrow morning and just made onigiris without them.

"Speakin' of," Osamu reached out for the TV remote then turned the thing on. "We gotta know how long this shit storm would last." He browsed through the channels until he found the local TV news channel.

He put down the remote and then reached for another can of beer.

The news was showing the weather report, saying they will be expecting heavy snow for the next two days.

The weather news ended, and a "Breaking News" flashed on the screen.

No one was actually paying attention to the television after the weather report.

Until Hinata looked up from his phone to look at it. He squinted to see the news report about a car accident on a bridge, the video showing a car being towed from under water.

"Oh my God." he gasped loudly. His eyes were wide.

Everyone's gaze followed Hinata's.

The dooming realization kicked in.

Osamu wanted to puke.

"That's Atsumu-san's car." Hinata finally said after a while.

"Are you sure?" Suna asked. He became more alert, no longer tipsy. "It might be just the same model, are you sure it's not the alcohol speaking?"

Hinata only shook his head in disbelief. "But that's his plate number..."

Nothing registered to Osamu. Suddenly, the alcohol had no effect on him, just dread. He stood up so suddenly he felt dizzy. He felt Suna do the same. Bokuto and Kageyama's slumber was interrupted.

"Rin..." he choked out. His voice was so little. No one was moving. _Why the fuck is no one moving?_

"Rin..." he muttered again. He felt for Suna's hand, wanting, needing someone to ground him. He felt his knees wobble as he drown in panic. Suna caught him.

Akaashi started moving, followed by Hinata. Sakusa did not move. Or maybe he can't.

"Wha..." Bokuto muttered groggily.

Akaashi just grabbed his fiance's arm, willing him to stand up. Hinata did the same with Kageyama.

" 'Samu, we gotta go." Suna crouched down to meet Osamu's eyes. He looked very disoriented.

"Hey, 'Samu," Suna lightly shook Osamu's frozen body. "Hey, look at me." Osamu's eyes met with his, tears streaming down his face.

"He's gon' be okay, ya hear me?" Suna assured his lover. "He has to be." He held Osamu's hand, who gripped it back so tightly, he's afraid the other might crush it. Osamu bit his lower lip as he tried to calm his shallow breaths.

"We gotta pull ourselves together." Suna said. He's probably saying it to himself because he, too, is trying his best to be calm.

Sakusa suddenly stood up and went for the door. Luckily, Hinata was able to stop him.

"Sakusa-san, where are you going?"

Sakusa looked at the younger man with eyes incomprehensible.

"I need to go to him." Sakusa simply said, as he wriggled his arm free from Hinata's grip. He started walking towards the door but Hinata pulled him back.

"No, you can't," Hinata said, "Not dressed like that. Not without us. We're going together."

Sakusa stopped fighting. The shock finally dies down, panic and anxiety replacing it. He looked at Hinata, who looked at him sympathetically. He wondered why, until he finally felt something wet and warm on his cheeks. He was crying. Hinata went back to the table, grabbed their things, wore his scarf and gloves, then went outside. Suna and the others did the same.

Everyone started moving at once.

To Osamu, what happened next was a blur. They rode a cab going to the hospital. He doesn't clearly remember how they got to the ER waiting room of Takodoro Hospital.

Soon after their arrival in the hospital, their parents arrived in the same room. The moment they stepped in, Osamu met them with a hug and immediately broke down at his mother's arms.

Shortly after, the police learned about the family's presence so they gave them a run down of what happened:

No one witnessed the accident itself. It was pretty late and the snowstorm is basically stopping everyone from going out. Luckily, someone who was on their way home found the bridge that Atsumu crashed on, and saw the tail of Atsumu's car floating. The person called 119 before diving in to the river to take Atsumu out.

Their theory was that Atsumu lost consciousness when he crashed and fell to the river, thus he was unable to get out of the water. No one knows how long he's been submerged under water.

"Do you happen to know if he was drunk or if he ingested alcohol when he was driving?" one of the officers asked.

Osamu, who was calmer now, answered, "No. He wasn't drunk or anythin'."

The officer gave him a doubting look, "Are you sure, sir? Because I somehow smell alcohol from you."

Osamu started to feel hot. Probably anger.

"We are sure." Sakusa interjected. He was sitting in one of the hospital seats, his head low. "He was gone before Osamu served the beer."

"Yeah, he just went out to buy some nori wrappers." Hinata added, standing close to the Miyas.

One of the officers tapped the one who was talking to them. "We understand. Thank you for sharing that information. We still do not know what caused him to swerve on the bridge." The other officer explained. "We're just crossing out possibilities. We have yet to review the CCTV footage of the street. We'll give you an update once we get the footage."

"Thank ya so much." Mr. Miya shook the officer's hand before they went. Mr. Miya lead Mrs. Miya to sit on one of the hospital chairs. Osamu sat on the seat to his mom's right and his dad on her left.

The rest of the group were also seated on the metal benches. All waiting, and probably praying, for a good news about Atsumu.

Osamu tried to pray too, but his mind was clouded with thoughts, specifically, _This is my fault._ He tried to remember the last thing he told his brother. Did he say something nice? Or did he insult him like he always does? He looked back at the 25 years they spent together and wondered, was he nice enough? Was he a good brother to Atsumu?

Did he make Atsumu feel loved enough?

He tried to imagine his future without Atsumu. He tried to imagine his wedding without Atsumu, having a child and not having Atsumu as their uncle. He tried to imagine his everyday life without a certain Miya Atsumu bugging him with messages, or video calls, or a random photo. 

He realized, he doesn’t want a life without Miya Atsumu in it.

That's when he bolted from the waiting room, looking for the restroom. He went inside the nearest cubicle and emptied his stomach to the toilet. The taste of bile made him want to puke more.

“ ‘Samu?” Suna called from the outside of the cubicle. He didn’t respond, only choked a sob. But Suna did not miss the sound. Suna knocked on the door of the cubicle he was in. He unlocked the cubicle door. 

“Hey,” Suna knelt down with him, not minding how dirty the hospital restroom was. Osamu faced Suna and hugged him.

“Tis my fault, Rin.” he sobbed. “This is my fault.”

“ ‘Samu, it’s an accident. It can’t be yer fault.” Suna rubbed his boyfriend’s back. 

“I asked him to go,” he hitched. "I shouldn't have." he sobbed, burying his face on Suna's chest. "I shouldn't have."

He stayed like that for a while, face buried on Suna's chest, while crying his heart out. Suna stayed with him, whispering comforting words and continued rubbing his back.

After a while, Osamu spoke. “Rin, I can’t--” he tried to gulp the dread behind his throat.

“I don’ wanna live without Tsumu.” he finally blurted out.

Suna hushed and hugged Osamu tighter. “Ya won’t have to.” he assured his lover. “We won’t have to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, when I initially wrote it, was 1.3k more words than the previous one so I decided to cut it in half.


	3. Samui (Chapter 2, Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a damn long and cold night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, brace yourselves for you are now riding the medical terminologies trainwreck. lol

Three hours after they came to the hospital, a doctor finally came to the waiting room and talked to them. 

“Is Miya Atsumu’s family here?” the doctor called out. Mrs. Miya, who was falling asleep, immediately became alert and stood up. Her eyes were swollen and her hair looked like she had been pulling at them. 

“We’re here.” Mrs. Miya said as she approached the doctor. Mr. Miya and Osamu followed her. Those who were sleeping were also woken by the sudden movements. 

“I’m Dr. Ueda.” the doctor shook their hands. He looked relatively young. “May I know your relationship with the patient?” 

“We’re his parents.” Mrs. Miya pointed at Mr. Miya, and then to Osamu, “and he’s his twin brother.”

“What’s goin’ on with ‘Tsumu?” Osamu interjected before the doctor could even react. “It’s been so long since he came in.” he pointed out, “and yer the first one to come here. We have no fuckin’ clue of what’s happenin’ to ‘im!” his voice grew louder by the end, waking their other company in the waiting room. 

“ ‘Samu…” Suna stood beside him, then held his hand and gripped it. 

“I understand your concern, Miya-san,” Dr. Ueda started. “I apologize for not talking to you sooner.” the doctor looked apologetic. 

“Atsumu-san came in with deep hypothermia. Meaning, his temperature was 22°C (71.6°F). 

The normal human temperature is 36-37°C (96.8-98.6°F). This means he’s been exposed to cold for a long time.

“In cases where the core temperature drops, the human organs stop functioning as well. It’s like how raw meat stops from becoming rotten as long as it’s frozen.” Dr. Ueda paused, trying to see if the family understands what he’s saying. 

“This means, whatever injury Atsumu-san sustained, the hypothermia helped in stopping further damage to his body.” Audible sighs were heard. “But it also means his heart and his lungs stopped functioning as well.” 

Mrs. Miya gasped. Then, she grabbed Mr. Miya’s hand and held it so tightly. She did the same with Osamu. 

She gulped, remained silent, then asked, “You mean… he’s…” she tried her best, in between sobs, she tried to ask if

“Dead?” It was Sakusa. For the first time in three hours, he stood up from his chair. He walked closer to the doctor. “Are you saying Atsumu is dead?” he asked, his voice raw from not speaking for the past 3 hours. 

Dr. Ueda’s face fell. He was silent for a while, trying to find the best words to break the news to the family. “Technically, he is. But we are still trying our best to raise his temperature so we can try to restart his heart. Right now, his temperature is at 29°C (84.2°F). We won’t be able to say he is dead unless he’s warm and he doesn’t respond to any of the medications we give.”

Mrs. Miya let out the sob she’s been holding loudly. She turned to Mr. Miya and buried her face on his chest. 

“We brought him to the OR to start the bypass. This will help warm his blood, then circulate it back to his body.” Dr. Ueda continued with a sad tone. 

“How long…” Suna asked, but his voice came out raw. He cleared his throat, and gulped the anxiety and hopelessness before asking, “How long has he been down?”

Dr. Ueda hesitated before responding. “Approximately 4 hours now.”

Osamu closed his eyes. 4 hours. His brother has been technically dead for 4 hours now.

He turned towards his mom, then enveloped her to a hug. He felt his dad reach for him too, making it a family hug.

“We’ll give you an update, as soon as we get progress.” Dr. Ueda said, before giving the family a bow and exiting the waiting room. 

Mr. Miya led his wife to their seat, trying his best to calm her down. Osamu can see he's also barely holding it together. He looked at the big clock by the door. It’s already 1:40 AM. 

Hinata, Kageyama, Akaashi, and Bokuto exited the waiting room. Probably to wake themselves up. Sakusa sat back down on his chair. He sat in the same position he's been sitting on for the past 3 hours. 

Osamu stood up and walked towards the man. He sat at the empty seat beside him. 

"How are ya holdin' up?" Osamu asked, leaning his body on the chair. 

Sakusa scoffed. "I should be asking you the same."

Osamu hummed, "Touchè." He sat uprightly and faced Sakusa. "But really?" his tone more serious now.

"I feel like shit." Sakusa respinded flatly. If Osamu wasn't paying attention, he would've missed the slight waver in his voice. 

"Can I hold ya?" Osamu asked. Sakusa looked at him for the first time in three hours.

He didn't expect for him to break down. It was as if all the emotions he's been dying to hold down bursted as soon as he faced Osamu. He nodded. 

Osamu let the raven cry, pulling him into a side hug. 

He's known Sakusa as much as Atsumu knew the man. Atsumu and Sakusa's relationship started when they were in the 2nd year of their Senior High School, and Osamu was the witness of everything they did together. The getting together, breakups, Atsumu's breakdowns, Sakusa's breakdowns, getting back together, and all the other immature shits a relationship had to go through. 

And if someone asked if he's close with him, he'd say yes in a heartbeat. 

Sakusa continued sobbing for a short while, and then the crying subsided. Osamu didn't let go of him though. 

"Sorry, Osamu." Sakusa said shyly. 

"Why are ya apologizin'?" Osamu asked calmly.

There was only silence.

"I thought of him when I looked at you." Sakusa said after a while. 

"I thought of him, and the possibility of never seeing him again." Sakusa sniffed. "I don't remember the last time I told him I love him." he sobbed. "I've been trying to recall it, but I can't."

Osamu didn't speak. He just listened, tightening his grip on Sakusa's shoulder, reminding him he's not alone in this.

"I don't know what I'll do, Osamu." Anyone who knows Sakusa on a personal level would be hurt at how he looked like at that moment. Like he could break any moment. "If he doesn't survive, I don't know what to do."

Osamu bit the tears welling in his eyes back. He's not going to cry. He's done doing that. _Be there for Omi. Be stronger for him._

The four people who went out earlier came back with cups of coffee from the hospital vendo machine. They handed thd Miya couple coffee, as well as Suna, then Osamu, and Sakusa. 

Sakusa stayed the way he was when Osamu side-hugged him. He didn't bother hiding the fact that he just cried. So when he accepted the coffee from Hinata, he wasn't surprised to see the quick expression of shock in his face. 

Osamu mouthed a thank you to Hinata, who handed the coffee to them.

"It's the least we can do." Hinata gave them a soft smile. 

___________

At 3:10 in the morning, Dr. Ueda, along with a different doctor, entered the waiting room again. 

This time, when he entered, everyone automatically piled around him. 

"We were able to restart his heart."

A single sentence was all it took for everyone's knees to buckle. 

The long night is over.

Hopefully. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme know what d'you think about this. 
> 
> (I'll probablybedit these notes when I'm on my right mind. I'm kinda not right now. lol)


	4. Hitori de

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 一人で (hitori de) - alone
> 
> Sakusa didn't know what living is like before Miya Atsumu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno what to say, just...tears.
> 
> Also, the scene at the end straight up came from Grey's Anatomy Season 14, Ep 23: Cold as Ice. That is also one of the main inspiration as to why I wrote this.

Sakusa Kiyoomi didn't know what it actually felt like to live before Miya Atsumu.

You see, Sakusa loves order. Because he likes seeing things he started to their end, he would organize everything from start to finish. And he would do everything just to follow that order.

He was bound to that order, unable to move beyond them.

He was once called a freak for that when he was a kid. Not that it bothered him.

Then everything changed when he met Miya Atsumu.

His total opposite.

Miya Atsumu LOVES spontaneity. He loves doing things that was not in the plan. He's always ready to go whenever and wherever you take him: be it at a restaurant for a group hangout, or a get together in a different prefecture, or a sudden reunion, or heck, he would even go to an unplanned hike if someone asks him to go.

He even brings this to the court. He keeps pulling off tricks they'd never seen the twins do in their previous matches. Sometimes it's a success, sometimes it isn't.

Like that one year, when they lost to Karasuno early on in the Nationals Tournament.

He's basically the most unpredictable person he's met yet.

He didn't know when it started, but eventually, whenever he got to witness him do something new, Sakusa felt excited.

He started to like Miya Atsumu's spontaneity.

How the faux blonde would out of nowhere give him back massages despite his protests of touching him. How he'd sneak on Sakusa's dorm room window multiple times at the All-Youth camp, tap it softly but loud enough to wake him, then ask Sakusa to accompany him to the nearest convenience store. How he'd give him a text out of nowhere when he got a hold of his phone number. Or a random selfie. Sometimes even a call, just to ask how his day has been.

In 2013, Miya Atsumu did another unexpected thing. Out of the blue, he confessed his feelings for Sakusa Kiyoomi.

And for once, Sakusa did something spontaneous. He told Atsumu he felt the same.

___________

Dr. Ueda explained a lot of things that a commoner will not understand unless they start browsing through WebMD and encounter the words hypothermia, comatose, concussion, neurology, and those kinds of stuff.

"What we're trying to tell you," the other doctor spoke for the first time. "Is that Atsumu-san was able to survive the hypothermia induced cardiac arrest. We were able to bring his temperature up and his heartbeat back." The doctor's coat tells them her name was Dr. Nishimiya.

"However, we have to observe his brain activity closely." she paused, observing the people surrounding her. She cleared her throat and then spoke again.

"You have to understand that Atsumu-san didn't have a pulse for almost 5 hours. His heart was not beating, thus it wasn't circulating blood to his brain, nor his lung providing enough oxygen to it either."

Oh boy, here we go again.

"This could cause a lot of things because the brain is a very delicate organ." Dr. Ueda turned to look away, and Dr. Nishimiya inhaled deeply.

"Right now, his brain activity is very slow." she continued. "For the next 24 hours, we will have to monitor Atsumu-san's brain activity. If we don't see any improvement from his current brain activity..." she paused, inhaled.

"We will have to declare him brain dead."

The room went eerily quiet.

"Wha...what does that mean?" Osamu dared to ask.

Dr. Ueda and Dr. Nishimiya's eyes met. She looked down at her clipboard, most probably just to distract herself before delivering the final blow to this small crowd.

"It means he may never wake up." Dr. Nishimiya said sadly. "He will have to remain in the ventilator breathing for him. His heart is pumping but he may never wake up or be conscious." she looked like she could tear up any moment.

"And if he does, he will not be the same Atsumu."

No one dared to speak. Not Bokuto. Not Hinata.

"So basically," it was Sakusa who broke the silence. "basically, he will be a shell. Hollow, nothing inside...?"

Dr. Ueda and Dr. Nishimiya nodded slowly.

"Are you really telling us, that after 5 hours of non-stop anxiety, 5 hours of agony waiting for any news, 5 hours of resuscitation, and HE COULD STILL END UP BEING DEAD?!" Sakusa bellowed. He felt his whole body shake with fury. No, it wasn't just anger that he's feeling. There's a lot of things but exhaustion and anger dominated all of them.

Dr. Ueda and Dr. Nishimiya wore an apologetic expression. One that almost translates as " _ we're used to this. _ "

Sakusa felt Akaashi and Bokuto stand beside him. They put their hands on his shoulder, trying to pacify him. Sakusa didn't budge. He held his gaze on the doctors, still shaking, angry tears streaming down his face.

Dr. Ueda and Dr. Nishimiya looked beyond exhausted. They looked like they could use 48 hours of sleep. Just like most of them who were in the waiting room, they had bags under their eyes, their clothes disarrayed. Unlike them, these two spent the last 5 hours trying to get Atsumu's heart working again. These people didn't just wait in a waiting room for an update.

These people actively worked on resuscitating his person.

And yet, despite all their efforts, it could still all go down to waste.

Sakusa wiped his tears angrily, weakly shrugged Akaashi and Bokuto's hand off of his shoulders and went back to his seat.

"We will still monitor his brain activity." Dr. Ueda spoke this time. "Let's hope for the best."

"Can we see 'im?" Mrs. Miya asked.

"He's in the ICU right now, so limited people are allowed inside." Dr. Ueda explained.

"Will you allow the three of us in?"

"Yes, of course. Please follow me." Dr. Nishimiya led the three out of the waiting room.

Both doctors gave a polite bow to the crowd before leaving.

The ones who were left said nothing. Suna was pacing, Akaashi and Bokuto sat silently, Akaashi's head on Bokuto's shoulder. Hinata was actually crying, and Kageyama was busy comforting him.

Sakusa kept his gaze low, occasionally wiping his tears with his sleeve. Internally, he wanted to scream, do something to get rid of what he's feeling.

To get rid of the hopelessness.

He also badly wants to see Atsumu. But that would be disrespecting his family.

He just wants to see Atsumu, to make sure he's still here. To make sure he won't go away.

Because he's Sakusa's Mr. Unpredictable. He'll stay. He'll break through whatever was set for him. Sakusa's sure of it.

Atsumu won't go down easily.

_ Don't you fucking dare, Atsumu. _

_________

In the 2nd hour after receiving the news, everyone, except for Sakusa, left the hospital. Everyone else went to Suna's place to get some rest.

At some point within that 2 hours, Osamu called him to go to Atsumu's room. Sakusa looked around, taking in the sight before him.

The room was fairly big. Mr. and Mrs. Miya sat beside Atsumu's bed, Mrs. Miya dozing off on Mr. Miya's shoulder, exhaustion catching up to her.

There were lots of machines and monitors surrounding Atsumu's bed. One monitors his heart beat, one helps him breathe, another is connected to the tapes on his forehead, which he assumed to be monitoring his brain activity.

He stepped inside the room and finally looked at Atsumu. His complexion was greyish, far from the flushed cheeks he'd normally wear in this season. He reached out to hold Atsumu's hand, and flinched a little. It was like he accidentally touched an ice cube.

Either way, he still gripped Atsumu's hand tightly. He sank onto the chair that was originally Osamu's and held Atsumu's hand with both of his.

Because the ability to hold Atsumu's hand means he's here. He's still here. And he won't let him go away.

__________

In the 8th hour of Atsumu's slumber, Kita Shinsuke, followed by their other Inarizaki Volleyball Boys' Club batchmates, came to the hospital.

Kita had called Osamu an hour before arriving, confirming with him if what the news said was true. All Osamu had to do was break for Kita to understand. He and Akagi were the first ones to arrive in the hospital. Eventually, the Omimi and Ginjima came, saying they heard about what happened.

They were not allowed to enter the ICU so Osamu and Suna met them at the lobby.

Kita Shinsuke is not someone who openly expresses his emotions, so it came as a surprise to everyone when he immediately pulled Osamu to a hug the moment they saw each other.

"How is Atsumu?" Kita asked as they broke the hug.

"The doctor's said they're keepin' him under observation." Osamu explained. "They said somethin' about his brain activity bein' slow." his voice breaks.

Kita didn't say anything.

"What does that mean?" It was Akagi who spoke this time.

Osamu just looked at him, and fell silent.

"We didn' understand it either." Suna responded instead. "Well, not all'a it. The doctors said there might be a chance that he may never wake up." Suna said with a sad tone.

Everyone fell into silence. A defeated kind of silence.

"But there's a chance he would, righ'?" Ginjima said, "that's why he's under observation, righ'? So there's hope, righ'???" his voice was filled with hope.

And most of the time, denial is the root of hope.

_ Nothing is sure. _ was hanging in the air.

"There's nothin' we can do but wait for now," Kita said calmly. "and pray. That's all we can do for Atsumu right now. But," he looked at Osamu's exhausted features, "we can be 'ere for his family."

Osamu looked at him, looking like he's on the verge of crying again.

"Tell us what we can do for yer family, Osamu." Kita said.

"Yeah, if ya need somethin' we'll be righ' 'ere. I can even go an' fetch ya some clothes from yer house, or buy ya guys some food. Whatever ya need." Akagi offered. The others just nodded in agreement.

Osamu was very tired, but seeing his teammates and having their presence helped ease the exhaustion and anxiety he's feeling.

At that moment, Sakusa got off of the elevator and saw the commotion that was the former Inarizaki Volleyball Team. He walked closer towards them, but not close enough to interrupt their conversation.

"Kita-san, do gods really exist?" Osamu blurted out.

Kita and the others were visibly taken aback by the sudden question.

"Yes, they do." Kita responded, " They're everywhere."

"D'ya think they can hear us?" Osamu asked again.

"Yea, they do. They can hear, see, sometimes even feel what we feel."

Osamu went quiet for a moment, hesitated, but then said, "Can we pray to them not ta take Atsumu from us yet?"

Kita's eyes widened, the others broke into tears.

"Yes." Kita spoke, "Yes, we can."

That was the moment Sakusa decided to believe in the gods for the first time.

_______

In the 18th hour of Atsumu's slumber, Dr. Nishimiya entered his room.

She has been coming and going for the past 16 hours, checking the big monitor with weird curving lines in them.

But this time, as if she found nothing different, Sakusa did not miss how her face looked sad and sorry. She inhaled before facing the Miya family.

"Can we talk outside for a second?" She asked Mr. and Mrs. Miya, who anxiously stood behind her when she came in.

Mrs. Miya gripped Mr. Miya's hand on her left, and Osamu’s on her right, before nodding yes. The four of them stepped out of the room. 

Sakusa was left alone in the room, with Atsumu. Ever since he was allowed in, he could count in one hand the times he went outside of the room. Most of the time he spent that day was watch Atsumu sleep, hold his ice-cold hand, and wait. 

When he heard Mrs. Miya wail outside sobbing her heart out on Mr. Miya’s chest-- Osamu hugging her from the back, in the same distraught state as her; when Dr. Nishimiya shook her head apologetically, he knew nothing has changed in Atsumu’s brain activity from 18 hours ago. 

He looked at Atsumu’s face. Nothing really changed, except for his complexion. He’s still as beautiful as the first time Sakusa took notice of his beauty. He took Atsumu’s hand and studied it, his nails were cleanly filed, so they won’t get in the way of his sets. 

27 hours ago, they won their game against the Green Rockets. Atsumu tossed to him, giving them their winning point. 

27 hours ago, he saw the joy in Atsumu’s face as he set to Sakusa, and watched him smash the ball to the other side of the court. 

Just 27 hours ago, while their team celebrated, Atsumu dragged him in the private bathrooms and kissed him.

Just 24 hours ago, Atsumu was still full of life, assuring Sakusa that he will be back. 

Sakusa held Atsumu’s hand with both of his. He looked at Atsumu’s face, nothing changed from the first time he entered his room. 

“I know you’re here,” he said, not taking his eyes from Atsumu. “I believe that.” he held Atsumu’s hand tighter. “I believe in you.” his voice breaks. He leaned his head against his hand that was gripping Atsumu’s.

The conversation that Osamu had with Kita earlier resurfaced in his memory.

“I will,” he sniffed, “I will believe in You.” he inhaled, and propped himself up. He doesn’t remember the last time he prayed. He doesn’t remember how to properly do it. So, he looked up at the ceiling instead, as if the deity he’s praying to was listening beyond it. 

“I refused to believe in You.” his voice breaking as he suppressed his sobs. “But now I will.” he sobbed.

“I’ll do anything,” he let out a choked sob, fully giving in to his desperation. He thought of the Miya family outside the room, having the heaviest conversation of their lives.

“I’ll do whatever you want. Just…” he looked at Atsumu’s face, a life without him flashing in Sakusa’s eyes. “If You exist, please, don’t take him away.” he kissed the back of Atsumu’s hand.

“Don’t take Atsumu from us, please.” he sobbed. “Not yet.”

_________

In the 21st hour of Atsumu’s slumber, he gripped Sakusa’s hand back, and opened his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aight guys, sorry. Might be gone for a while. Gotta work. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	5. Shou gai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 生涯 (shougai)- lifetime
> 
> Atsumu felt alone for almost his whole lifetime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's kinda long, but please let me know about what you think of this. Many of the scenes here are OOC. 
> 
> I realized didn't really explain what the breathing cannula was for:
> 
> Most hypothermic patients get treated with humidified oxygen or humidifiers to help heating them up.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Not many people liked Miya Atsumu. 

Right from the start, he didn't have a lot of people he could call "friends". He was compared to Osamu ALL the time, and he didn't take it nicely. 

Unlike Osamu, people avoided Atsumu. No one wanted to interact with him, afraid that they would be met with an attitude that would ruin their day. He has a personality so strong that no one wanted a part of. At the court, he's bossy. He demanded the best from everyone, and if he ever felt a tiny bit of hesitation, or incompetence, he would confront them later after the game.

That's just how he is. And other people hated that.

Growing up, all Atsumu had was Osamu. He was lucky enough to have met Suna in elementary, and eventually Aran, in middle school. Both had equal strong personalities that they were able to be on par with his.

Atsumu is not a stranger to isolation. Osamu pointed out one time that people hated him, but Atsumu told him he didn't care. Aran once told him that he's scared of Atsumu's ability to ignore the fact that people avoided him.

It must be scary having people look at you with spite all the time.

Atsumu didn't have a lot of friends. One time, Osamu joked that when he dies, no one would be attending his funeral. Only Osamu and Suna would be there. 

To which he responded with, "That's not really 'no one', ain't it? Yer still gon' be there." 

He was used to being alone, no one but Osamu as his company.

_________

When the news of Atsumu waking up finally landed on the Suna residence, all hell broke loose.

Hinata and Bokuto screamed and leapt in the air. They immediately video called the MSBY team and delivered the news to them. They were met with more shouting and leaping.

Akaashi sighed of relief. Kageyama was busy delivering the news to the Adlers' group chat. 

Meanwhile, later in the morning, in the Ginjima residence, Akagi, Oomimi, and Ginjima himself would wake up to the same news. They would rush to Kita's house and deliver the good news. They would also pray to thank the gods for listening and answering their prayers. 

Much later on, the whole country would celebrate this news with them.

Atsumu is no longer alone. 

______

"You're doing really good Atsumu-san!" Dr. Nishimiya said cheerfully. "All your reflexes, your stimuli, everything seems good. You're really lucky you had no other injury from the crash aside from your concussion, which was eventually healed by the hypothermia." She gave him a big smile. 

"Tha-" Atsumu cleared his throat, and then immediately regretted it as it hurt like hell, "Thank ya, doc." his voice came out raspy. He gave her an equally big smile.

3 hours ago, when his hand moved, Sakusa immediately informed the Miya family about the movement. A few minutes later, he gripped Sakusa's hand back, and then opened his eyes. Everyone in the room was frantic. They called for a nurse, who called for Dr. Nishimiya.

Dr. Nishimiya almost didn't believe that Atsumu was awake, and alright. She asked him to do a bunch of simple things, like lift his finger, follow her finger with his eyes, move his toes, and other stuff that would verify that he's still mentally capable. 

Mrs. Miya almost collapsed because of the relief that instantly flooded her when Dr. Nishimiya finally said Atsumu is doing great. That he will recover. She didn't say "fully", but nothing really registered to them aside from the fact that Atsumu's alive. 

He is alive. They no longer have to imagine a future without him.

Several minutes later, they took Atsumu off the vent since he was already capable of breathing on his own. But they still gave him a cannula to help with his still low temperature. 

"You're welcome! Okay, so you might still feel cold because your temperature is still at 33°C (91.4°F). The cannula, and this light," she pointed at the lamp with a red light in it, "will help heat you up back to the normal temperature. I also highly discourage you speaking too much. The intubation may have aggravated your vocal chords so we need to take precautionary measures. No cold drinks or food, yet. Very minimal solid food intake only, okay?"

Atsumu responded with a smile and two thumbs up. 

"Alrighty, I'll leave you be for now. If you need anything, use that remote to call a nurse." She turned to the Miya couple. "Can I excuse you both for a second? We will need you downstairs for the arrangements with the room transfer." She gave them a small smile. 

"Of course." Mr. Miya responded. Before leaving, they both went to Atsumu and each planted a kiss on his forehead, to which Atsumu protested but was not able to do anything either way. They ruffled his hair before turning towards the door and accompanied Dr. Nishimiya outside.

Sakusa, Osamu, and Suna were left with Atsumu inside. There was an awkward silence, only the soft beeping of Ataumu's heart monitor and occasional sniffs could be heard.

"So..." Atsumu spoke. His eyes travelled around the room. Osamu sat on a chair by the wall to his left, and Suna stood beside him. Sakusa sat on his right, still holding his hand.

The atmosphere was heavy, and Atsumu, despite the fact that he's just woken up from a frozen brain, racked his brain for a topic to ease the tension in the room. 

What does a person who came back from the dead say in this kind of situation?

"Ya'll finally realize ya can't live without me, huh?" he kidded, hoping for Osamu to come at him, or Sakusa to glare at him. He's desperate for normalcy at this point. 

It was the wrong thing to say. 

Because he didn't expect Osamu to break down. Most of all, in front of him.

Osamu huffed, "Ya think tha's funny?" Osamu said angrily. "Ya selfish, self-absorbed, vain motherfucker!" he stomped towards Atsumu. "Ya come back from the dead and all ya hafta say is  **_that_ ** ?!?!" Osamu heaved.

"Calm down, 'Samu--"

"Don't fuckin' speak!" Osamu said loudly. "The doctor lit'rally jus' told ya tha', mygod 'Tsumu!"

Atsumu immediately shut his mouth. He could hear Suna snickering from the wall. Sakusa buried his face in Atsumu's forearm, probably suppressing his laugh, too.

"Ya think we had a fun time here," Osamu gestured his hand around the room, "lookin' at yer shitty sleepin' face all day long, wonderin' if ya will ever wake up?! Ya think tis a joke?!"

Atsumu started to feel guilty. Not because he would ever know what Osamu was talking about since he was asleep through all of it, but because he could see on his brother's face the exhaustion, anxiety, and maybe even guilt. 

"I'm sorry..." he said quietly. "I didn't mean ta--"

"Yer not allowed ta talk 'Tsumu!" Osamu reprimanded. Atsumu pursed his lips again. 

Osamu angrily wiped the tears that doesn't seem to stop from falling, gulped, then sighed. Atsumu knows very well this is how his brother calms himself down after a break down. It took several cycles of that before the heavy silence was broken with Osamu's voice again. 

"Ya were dead, 'Tsumu. Ya died. For 5 hours. When they brought ya back, we were thrown inta another roller coaster ride of waitin' for ya ta wake up, because if ya don', then ya'll be brain dead." Osamu said. He took one step closer to Atsumu. "Which is no different ta death."

Atsumu wanted to tell Osamu that he's already heard all of it from Dr. Nishimiya, and that he did not nececssarily die, but with Osamu's state right now, he'd rather not go back to another coma.

None of them spoke, the word "death" hanged around them. Osamu looked down to his feet, another wave of tears threatened to fall. 

" 'Tsumu," he called. Atsumu did not respond, thinking it's the best thing to do. But when Osamu looked up, eyes wide, dread evident in it; as if he was expecting to see Atsumu still sIeeping, Atsumu cursed at himself for not answering.

"I'm so sorry." Osamu said. "I'm so sorry..." and he was back to a sobbing mess. Atsumu can no longer bear this.

"Why are ya apologizin'?" he asked, not caring about the fact that he's technically not allowed to speak.

"This is all my fault, y'know." Osamu said in between sobs.  _ Why is he cryin' like a 5 year old?  _ "If--if I didn' ask ya ta buy the nori, ya wouldn' have drove in tha' weather." Atsumu saw Suna twitch a little, like he's tempted to grab Osamu in a hug. Which was not surprising since they're not really used seeing this vulnerable side of Osamu.

"C'mon 'Samu, y'know tha' ain't fair. Yer not supposed ta blame yerself fer an accident. Tha's why i's called accident." Atsumu said, trying his best to comfort his brother. 

"I know. I know tha'. Rin told me tha'. But I can't help it! However I look at it, I feel responsible fer wha' happened." Osamu argued. 

"Ya almost died." He added.

"But I didn'." Atsumu said back. "Don' worry brother, I'll live long enough so I can annoy ya till we're 80 years old." he grinned.

"Fuck, 'Tsumu." Osamu huffed before walking towards Atsumu and hugged him. 

"I love ya, ya hear?" Osamu said, not breaking the hug. He was still sobbing. Atsumu rubbed his back up and down. 

"There, there," he said. "I know."

"I said 'I love ya'. Say it back." Osamu demanded. 

"Ugh..." Atsumu complained. "I love ya too."

Osamu still did not let go of the hug. His position was very uncomfortable, and he probably did not look very nice from an outsider's perspective, but he didn't care. All he cared about was that moment. Just 2 and a half hours ago, they were receiving the news that nothing's changed in Atsumu's brain activity even after so much time had already passed. It was still slow and irregular 

A few hours ago, they were told that Atsumu was beyond hope. Dr. Nishimiya informed them about a consent form, asking if they would be willing to donate Atsumu's organs to those who need them. 

A few hours ago, he had to watch their mother succumb to grief and hopelessness. 

A few hours ago, he was forced to look at his future as the remaining Miya of the Miya twins.

But now, now is what matters. Not his pride, not his future, not the past. Now. Because now, he's holding his brother, whose heart is beating, breathing on his own, speaking, awake, alive. 

"Uh, 'Samu?" Atsumu spoke after a while. 

"Shush" Osamu said, and hugged him tighter. 

"I hafta say, I didn' know ya can get this emotional even in front of other people," Atsumu said, a hint of humor in his voice. Osamu, however, was not humored. He finally broke the hug, and then glared at Atsumu. He sat at the small space on Atsumu's left bed side.

"I was just kiddin'!" Atsumu exclaimed, feeling threatened.

"Well, ya've no idea wha' ya put him through, 'Tsumu." Suna said flatly. "He even cried in front of Kita-san."

"Rin!" Osamu reprimanded. Suna just chuckled. 

"Wha?!" Atsumu exclaimed, forgetting the fact that he wasn't allowed to speak. 

"Wha' were ya expectin'?! That I joke around, or be a ball of optimism while knowin' there's a possibility of ya dyin?!" Osamu exclaimed.

"Aw, I knew ya cared fer me!" Atsumu said grinning. 

" 'Course I do!" Osamu snapped back, "We all do." He gestured at the people in the room. "So don' go dyin' on us like tha'." Osamu leaned in and pulled Atsumu closer to him, kissing the top of his head.

"I'm not really sure how ta feel about ya bein' so sweet and kind ta me righ' now, 'Samu, but I'm kinda glad I almost died." Atsumu blurted out. He just seem to say the wrong things to say today, doesn't he?

Osamu smacked him lightly on the head, Suna glared at him, and Sakusa threw his hand and glared at him. 

"Tha' was not the right thing ta say." Atsumu said apologetically. "Sorry, my bad." he said. 

"So, what happened when ya were out?" Suna asked. "Any dream? White light? Did ya see yer afterlife?"

Atsumu debated if he's going to talk about the dream he had. 

"Nah," Atsumu said, "All I remember was I was crossin' the bridge goin' ta the store. Everythin' was foggy because of the snow, tha's why when I saw the cat, I swerved--"

"Wait," Sakusa spoke this time. "All of this haplened because of a *cat*?!"

"Well, yeah," Atsumu stated, "Omi, I can't just runover a cat. That's beyond human morals!"

Sakusa looked at him with a combination of horror and disbelief painted on his face. "You're telling us you almost died because of a cat?"

"...yeah?" Atsumu said, slowly realizing what his boyfriend's trying to say. 

"You really are the most stupid person I've met." Sakusa said, shaking his head.

"Wow." Suna said. "I will mever be able to grasp the fact that all of this happened because of nori wrappers and a cat."

That earned a laugh from everyone. 

"By the way, ya were right." Osamu said as they calm down from laughing.

"About wha'?" Atsumu asked.

"Tha' I realized I can't live without ya."

"Make that a 'we'." Sakusa added.

_______

2 hours later, Atsumu was transferred to one of the VIP rooms in the hospital. There, he was allowed to accept more visitors. 

The first group of visitors were those who were staying at the Suna residence.

"Atsumu-saaaan!" Hinata greeted loudly the moment they entered the room. "I'm so happy you're awake!" Hinata exclaimed.

"Tsum-tsum!!!" Bokuto greeted looking like he was ready to cry. "I thought you were going to die!!" he gave Atsumu a dramatic hug. 

"I won't go down that easily, Bokkun." Atsumu said with a smirk. 

"Glad to see you're okay, Atsumu-san." Kageyama said flatly. 

"Me too, Tobio-kun." he grinned at the younger setter.

"Where do we put the fruits?" Hinata asked, raising the basket of fruits. 

"Oh, jus' put it there at the table." Atsumu pointed at the pantry table across the room.

"This is quite a room you got here Atsumu-san." Akaashi said, looking around the room.

"I know, right?" Atsumu said excitedly. "My parents specifically asked fer this room, since the doctors said I had to be hospitalized longer than expected." Atsumu poited at that, "they expected I'd be havin' different sorts'a visitors so they asked fer this."

"Cool!" Bokuto commented. 

"You don't have a company right now?" Akaashi asked. 

"Ah, Osamu went downstairs ta get somethin' ta eat. He said ya guys were comin' tha's why he decided ta eat at this time." Atsumu explained. "Ma and Pa went home for a while. They looked real tired so I asked them ta have some sleep. They said they'll be back in the afternoon."

"What about Omi-san?" Hinata asked.

"Ah, he went home with my parents. I commented abou' the fact that he hasn' taken a bath fer 24 hours, and he didn' feel good since then, so I told him to go at our house with my parents." Atsumu and the others laughed.

They chatted for a while. Akaashi explained that they stayed over at Suna's place since they were not allowed to go to Atsumu's room. Hinata also told him that they called the MSBY members and told them what happened. Coach Foster said they were sorry for not being able to come at the most crucial time, and that they will pray for him. 

"We better tell 'em I'm alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic!" Atsumu sang the last part. Hinata and Bokuto laughed at the pun.

"We did!" Hinata said excitedly. "They said they'll come as soon as they can, which is probably later this afternoon, or tomorrow morning." he added. 

"Such a shame our vacation ended up like this," Bokuto said sadly. "But don't worry, all's well as long as you're okay!"

Atsumu just smiled weakly, "Next time, Bokkun. Let's make it summer next time, yeah?" he chuckled.

They left before lunch came and promised to be back the next day. They will be leaving for Osaka the day after tomorrow, they informed him. 

Later that afternoon, Atsumu's Inarizaki Volleyball Club batchmates came to visit him. Akagi and Ginjima cried as they enveloped him in a hug. Kita and Oomimi patted him on the shoulder. 

"Aw, c'mon Kita-san! Tha's all I get from ya? Osamu gets a hug and I get a pat on a shoulder?" Atsumu asked with a pout. 

Kita laughed. Osamu blushed. "Ya scrub! How d'ya know tha?!" 

"Sunarin told me." Atsumu responded with a smirk. Osamu glared at Suna, who raised both his hand. 

Kita walked towards Atsumu, and pulled him into a hug, "I'm really glad yer better now, Atsumu." he said as he patted Atsumu at the back.

"'Course! I ain't goin' anywhere anytime soon, ya know!" Atsumu said proudly. Kita broke the hug and smiled at him.

"Ya did great." Kita told him with a small smile. 

Atsumu no longer feels alone.

______

At night, Atsumu and Sakusa were left alone in the room. Sakusa volunteered to stay the night, because Atsumu begged his family, since none of them gave in when he asked nicely, to go home and rest. They only gave in when Sakusa assured them they'd take care of him.

After the nurses were done with giving him a series of check ups, medicine shots, and making sure he'd be comfortable for the night, Atsumu and Sakusa were finally left alone. 

"Omiii," Atsumu whined. "Get on the bed with meee" he pouted. 

"No, thanks. I'm pretty much comfortable with my bed." Sakusa laid comfortably on the folding bed that was brought by one of the nurses earlier. He faced away from Atsumu.

Atsumu angrily folded his arms, "We get one night together and ya wanna spend it on different beds."

Sakusa didn't move.

"Jus' hours ago, ya were clingin' ta my hand. Ya were so afraid that I'll die." Atsumu said, still pouted. "Ahhh, those were the days..." he sighed.

Sakusa faced, and threw a pillow at him. It hit Atsumu's head. Atsumu clutched his head. 

"Ouch!" he winced dramatically. This alarmed Sakusa, so he rushed to Atsumu's side, worried. 

"What happened?" Sakusa asked frantically, "Do you feel any pain? Do you want me to call a doctor?"

Atsumu's face remained in pain, and then he smiled mischievously. "Gotcha!" he laughed. 

Sakusa's face turned serious, then mad. He turned away from Atsumu and walked towards his bed, but Atsumu stopped him and held his arm. 

"C'mon, Omi, I was jus' kiddin'." He said, trying to soothe Sakusa. Sakusa didn't move nor say anything. Atsumu tugged on Sakusa softly, to which Sakusa gave in and sat back down, without looking back at him. 

"I'm sorry, 'kay?" Atsumu said softly. He kissed Sakusa's hand, then upwards to his bare forearms. Sakusa looked back at him. Atsumu looked at him with puppy eyes. 

If Atsumu didn't still have a breathing cannula through his nose, Sakusa would've beat him back to coma. He sighed and rolled his eyes, before sitting on Atsumu's bed. Atsumu pulled him into a back hug. Sakusa buried his face in the crook of Atsumu's still slightly cold neck. Dr. Nishimiya explained earlier that it was normal. They gave him a warm blanket for the night to hopefully bring his temperature up.

"I knew ya won't be able ta ignore me." Atsumu said naughtily. "Ya love me."

"Shut up." Sakusa said sternly, "You know that already."

"Wha?" Atsumu asked, "That ya can' ignore me, or tha' ya love me?"

"Both." 

"I'm sorry in advance fer sayin' this, but I'm lovin' the perks of almost dyin'."

Sakusa faced Atsumu with a glare. "Yeah? Well, try that again and I'll make sure to kill you twice."

"Tha's hot, not gonna lie." Atsumu told Sakusa, who lost his last shred of patience. He tried to wriggle free from Atsumu's back hug, but the older wouldn't budge. 

"I'm sorry! I won't say tha' again." Atsumu said as he chuckled. They went quiet for a while.

"Omi?" 

"Hm?"

"What happened when I was..." Atsumu hesitated, "...gone?"

Sakusa didn't respond. He just went still and quiet. 

"I saw, for the first time in the 8 years that we've known each other, how Osamu truly loves and cares for you." Sakusa said, still not facing Atsumu. He felt the faux blonde nod weakly.

"I never knew he's actually capable of feeling... THAT much, you know," Sakusa continued. "It's like watching him watch his world fall apart. For the whole time you were...sleeping, all he did was cry, comfort your mom, and then cry again." Sakusa paused, waiting for a reaction from Atsumu. Atsumu stayed quiet.

"It was really hard you know. We were all scared. I think everyone barely breathed for 24 hours. I barely breathed." he added.

"And make sure you let your mom know how much you love her, okay? And also your dad." Atsumu looked at him confused, but Sakusa just kept on speaking. 

"You do not know how much stress your mom went through in the span of 24 hours. So you better let her know."

Sakusa faced Atsumu this time. He looked sad, and guilty. He cupped Atsumu's face with his hand. "You also made me believe God exists." Sakusa said with a smile.

Atsumu looked shocked. 

"3 hours before you woke up, the doctors already told us that you're condition wasn't improving and that we should stop hoping that you'll still wake up," Sakusa played with Atsumu's hand. "Before that, I heard Osamu and your former captain, Kita, talk about how God could hear prayers from anywhere." he inhaled. 

"So, for the first in a very long time, I prayed." Sakusa said, a slight quiver evident in his voice. "I told God I'd do anything, whatever, He wants, with the condition not to take you away." Atsumu could hear him sniff. 

"When you were asleep, I had this massive fear in my being that I won't ever get to see, talk, hear, feel, love you again." Sakusa continued, his tears falling on Atsumu's hand. Atsumu could feel his own tears well up.

"When I first heard that you got into an accident, I felt my veins go cold, almost literally." Sakusa sniffed. "When we had to wait for so, so long for the doctors to bring your heartbeat back, I tried to remember the last time I told you I love you. I couldn't."

Now, they're both crying.

"When they brought you back, but told us that there were possibilities of you never waking up, I took the chance of holding your hand and never letting it go, unless they pull me off of you." Sakusa continued. 

He looked at Atsumu, who was ugly crying at the moment, "So you're asking me what happened while you were asleep? I realized, life would be meaningless without you." He wiped the tears on Atsumu's face. 

"Atsumu," he held both of Atsumu's hand. "I cannot imagine a future, a life, without you in it." Sakusa said, tipping Atsumu's head upward. 

"Let's go through our lifetimes together. Hand in hand." He grabbed both of Atsumu's hand, and inhaled deeply.

"Marry me."

Atsumu's sobs grew louder and stronger. Sakusa waited without demanding for a response. 

"Yes." Atsumu answered in between sobs. "Let's do that." he looked at Sakusa, who was smiling at him, and smiled back.

That night, they slept hugging each other.

That night, Atsumu knew he will never be alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of your support. I apologize for being unable to respond to your comments. I'll try my best to chat with you sometime soon. BUT I SEE ALL OF THEM, and I get my inspiration from them, so thank you so much for your support!
> 
> I'm still debating with myself if I'm going to add another chapter for the ending or just end it here. lemme know your thoughts. :)
> 
> As always, thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone noticed, yes, I kind of used April Kepner's incident of hypothermia from Grey's Anatomy. So you may expect more of that in the next chapter (s).
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it!!


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